Comparison is the Thief of Joy.

[insert excuse for not writing a post about my life as of late] I've decided to quit pretending I can stay up to date on my blog, that's crazy. Not to mention its mostly for myself so who cares right?  Lately I have been trying to break down my previously constructed ideals about myself and what I should or shouldn't be. I've started to quote a new mantra to myself whenever I revert back to thinking less of myself based on my misconceptions of worth, "Comparison is the thief of Joy." This quote comes from one of the most bad ass (I mean that in the most respectful way possible) men in history, Theodore Roosevelt.  I mean seriously, the man got shot in the chest on the way to a convention and still went to give his speech before going to the hospital.  He knows what he is talking about. But do I know what I'm talking about, do YOU even know what I'm talking about....probably not I'm being extremely vague.

Here is what I want to say, every day we get up and we start analyzing our lives, making observations: it's too hot in my room, I slept in too late, cool I have an awesome line from my pajamas digging into my fat...these observations constitute our attitude for the majority of our day. We go about our day looking at other people, comparing ourselves to them.  Sometimes the comparison is envious of her slender figure, his amazing car, their baby, clothes, pizza, giant purple people eater... while those comparisons can cheapen the great blessings in your life by blinding you from what you have.  Comparison of others to make yourself feel better can also take away joy and happiness,  "At least I don't look like that," "I get to go out at night, she's stuck at home with her baby," "Another stupid Facebook status about her boyfriend," "What a freak of nature!"  These comparisons we build up in our minds lead to only negative thoughts, negative actions, and negative lives.

I, Megan Christene Brandley, am a major comparer (comparde, comparist, comparess?) I compare on every level, to make myself believe I am better, to wish that I were better, or to just compare.  It sucks away the joy from your life and limits your ability to think positively. We believe our lives should be something that they aren't, we believe we should always be searching for more, achieving more, being more, and while it is good to continuously progress it is always important to live in the here and the now and embrace the amazing ups and downs of life.  I am at a point in my life that I always longed for, I graduated from college, I have a job teaching American History, I am married to my best friend, I have an amazing family, I live by mountains, I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I didn't have to fight in the hunger games, and I woke up this morning! Why would I want another life? Why would you want a life other than your own.  Fun fact, you get to make your own life there may be external factors that continuously interfere, but you get to decided how you react to those negatives.

I am striving to put aside everything I used to compare about myself to others, everything I used to believe I should be, or what others think I should be, or what I think others think I should be, and be here and now. Comparison is thief of joy, it pits us against one another and against ourselves.  We are each given our individual lives, struggles, successes, and joys.  It takes a conscious effort everyday not to compare ourselves to others. It's a beautiful struggle, and a beautiful life.

Where Can I Turn for Peace?

There are times in our lives when we feel we are lacking.  Lacking in what? Everything.  That has been me lately.  Student teaching has been the most challenging thing I have ever done add on top of that crippling anxiety, a husband who lives 50 miles away during the week, and the random stresses of life.  It's been hard.

I am in an environment everyday that challenges me, challenges my faith.  My spirituality has taken a nose dive and I know it's because of this large task before me, and I know it is one of the tools of the adversary to remove you from your one source of true peace.  

As I've sat alone most days, rocking, and trying to ward off an anxiety attack so that I could work more a question has come to me repeatedly, where can I turn for peace? 

I would sink lower and lower and ask almost out loud, where can I turn for peace?  I knew that this phrase was not coming to me repeatedly by random, but rather by sweet, personal, divine, design.  I knew it was a song, but I couldn't remember if it was a hymn or not.  This Sunday I sat next to Phill in church, and the sacrament was being passed.  I hadn't been able to go to church for a couple weeks, because of illness.  Again the phrase came to me again, "where can I turn for peace?" I looked it up in the hymn book and there it was.  I read the lyrics and could barely see through the tears forming in my eyes.  It was everything I had been feeling that I had been too angry, too cloudy, too distracted to express myself.  My despair, fear, and doubt all wrapped up in this song, with the answer to my question, "where can I turn for peace?" 

Where Can I turn for peace?

Where is my solace

When other sources cease to make me whole?

When with a wounded heart, anger, or malice,

I draw myself apart, 

Searching my soul?

Where, when my aching grows,

Where when I languish,

Where, in my need to know, where can I run?

Where is the quiet hand to calm my anguish?

Who, who can understand?

He, only One.

He answers privately,

Reaches my reaching

In my Gethsemane, Savior and Friend.

Gentle the peace he finds for my beseeching.

            Constant he is and kind,

            Love without end.

The last line of the first verse encompasses my emotions that last couple of months.  Searching my soul, trying to remember what it was like to feel that love of my Savior, and my Heavenly Father searching my soul daily, trying to find the answer of where peace could be found. Where can I run, I should have known to run to my Savior when I felt myself so seriously lacking, but that's the true power of the adversary, his ability to alter your belief of your worth.  

He answers privately, reaches my reaching.  In my Gethsemane, Savior and Friend.  In a chapel on 7th street this Sunday I was reaching, and privately and sweetly He reached back.  Giving me a new motivation to remember that a soul cannot be lacking when it knows where peace can be found.  I am so blessed to be a part of the glorious gospel!  Despite the imperfections of the world, of people, and of myself there is always one constant waiting patiently for our return, no matter how long the absence.  Where can I turn for peace? Savior and Friend, love without end. 

In the Venue...what Venue?

Once upon a time a seemingly countless number of months ago i gave Kamila and Sterling (Phill's siblings) tickets to a band i had introduced them to, Boyce Avenue.  Well the day finally came March 17th, concert day!!! We headed down to the SLC and hit up Crown burger for some delicious grub, then drove around for about an hour trying to find The Venue.  After getting back on the wrong freeway, that had no off ramp until Bountiful we flipped about 20 U turns and to our dismay realized that we had passed the Venue before heading onto the freeway. fail. Luckily for us, my awesome brother Ben was there so we slid in line with him and his girlfriend Brynn. Yay. The Concert was AWESOME! Secondhand Serenade opened for Boyce Avenue, which sterling was stoked about, because they were on his concert bucket list. He was an awesome performer! Boyce Avenue is an amazing band and live they are just incredible! This was Kami's first concert ever. madness. I do believe she had a great time!

cute Kami! (secretly nervous, but oh so brave;)

I have a concert addiction...

waiting, waiting for the show to begin!

Secondhand Serenade, Amazing!

This man has the voice of an angel...i think even sterling had a little man crush on him by the end of the night;)

we're in the picture somewhere...just a few rows back!

Benji and Brynn!

not my best picture, but who cares, we love concerts!

If you have never head Boyce Avenue...you are missing out big time. here are a few of my favorite songs of theirs/covers they have done. Enjoy.

Day 'O' Love

Well, happy day after Valentine's everyone! Did you all have a romantic day?:) I should hope so. Since the beginning of time...or junior highish, Kaitlin and I have celebrated Valentine's day (mostly celebrating our dislike for it:) ) together in one way or another.  It usually involved skipping school and seeing a movie.  This year we went to Lady Antebellum and it was amazing! they put on such a great show! But before i post pictures from the concert i have a comical story to share about our drive down to Salt Lake.

We were driving passed Layton, when out of the corner of my eye i saw that the passenger in the car next to us was holding up a sign with his phone number. I recognized him and kept driving.  He followed, and help up a sign that said, "I've never kissed a girl will you be my Valentine?" I laughed and blew him a kiss...hoping that it would just end there. it did not. He put up his number again, and said to text him, if that is easier. Kaitlin and i  then motioned that texting and driving kills (probably not anymore than having full on conversations with the car in the carpool lane on the freeway, but whatever.) he then writes THEN CALL ME!!! Followed by, "I'll make you breakfast..." we just ignore him, but his facial expression were hilarious! We are now by Lagoon in Farmington, and he holds up a sign, that says, "am i really that ugly" with a big pouty face...Kaitlin and i decide we had better talk to him. So we asked him how old he was (because he looked like jail bait to us) He was 19. We respond, "Sorry, we are not cougars" and speed off into another lane. He follows. And writes, "I never said I went to BYU!" (haha) We respond, we've got you by a few years, thank you though.  He writes back, "Age doesn't matter when it comes to love" we say this isn't love, and he responds with "it could be..." haha We are now well passed bountiful and he's holding up his number saying last chance....we shake our heads no. and continue on. He follows. Then holds up, "I just missed my exit for you." haha. We tell him we are sorry and wave good-bye, because we were not missing our exit for him! and that is the story of how we almost got a date for Valentine's day. haha. The End.

And here are some of our Lady A Concert Photos:

Classic pre-concert photo....

Another classic...this is how we get dates;)

Phill and i sent each other valentines this year (surprise, surprise) I'm  not super great at getting gifts, haha, i much much rather give them. But he did a good job! He gave me all the change he had saved up for our Disneyland change jar, chocolate (which i desperately needed, how did he know?;) ) and my favorite part was his name tag! i really wanted one and he read my mind!
I made him this (see below) and sent it in a, wait for it...heart shaped box with a blinged out yoda on the front. Yes people that is true love. haha.

And for good measure here is me and my Valentine. Man i love him!

Happy Valentine's Day all you cuties out there! 

~ In the Land of Sugar~

Last week my sister, who is just the greatest by the way, got her poor (literally) super broke sister tickets to SUGARLAND!!!! what a doll right? Well we had an amazing time, despite the incident in Indiana, Sugarland put on a spectacular show i would rank it in my top 3 concerts, absolutely fabulous. Did i mention Kait got us pit tickets so we were like 3 rows of people away from the stage. Yes, Awesome! Thanks you so much Kait! Here are some of my favorite pictures from the concert:

Pre-Concert Antics:

So these 3 first photos have a delightful story behind them, but to spare you the juicy details we were trying to capture our initial reaction to the overly affectionate lady couple next to us.... none of these pictures properly portray our emotions.

kaitlin is speachless, and i...do not know how to react

as their PDA continues....we are not fans.



we use humor as a defense mechanism  in awkward situations...obviously!

We Love Sugarland!!!!



Concert Time:

This song is called Love, they dedicated it to those who lost their lives and were injured during the collapse at the Indiana State Fair. 

This was such an AMAZING concert!!!! Thank you Kaitlin!

 if you ever get an opportunity to see Sugarland do it!

For real.

Q: do i love this?

A:yes, yes i do.

Les Miserables in All It's Awesomeness!

I have recently had my eyes reopened to the genius that is Les Misérables.  If you’ve never read it/seen it/heard of it…shame. The musical is based on the novel written by Victor Hugo.  The story takes place during the time of French revolution as a wave of antimonarchism is rushing over the world.  The people of France are striving for a better tomorrow in every way.    It is a tragic, yet completely inspirational story; there is an unbelievable power behind Les Mis.  Maybe it’s the history nerd inside of me that makes me love it so much I don’t know, but it is blow your mind brilliant.

This video clip is from the 25th anniversary of the musical it combines the original cast members along with the 25th anniversary cast. AMAZING!!!