If you don't know what endo is, then it's like W.B.D.G.G...what's the big deal girl geez? Endometriosis, as defined by the big boys at MAYO clinic, Endometriosis (en-doe-me-tree-O-sis) is an often painful disorder in which tissue that normally lines the inside of your uterus — the endometrium — grows outside your uterus (endometrial implant). Endometriosis most commonly involves your ovaries, bowel or the tissue lining your pelvis. Rarely, endometrial tissue may spread beyond your pelvic region.
In endometriosis, displaced endometrial tissue continues to act as it normally would — it thickens, breaks down and bleeds with each menstrual cycle. Because this displaced tissue has no way to exit your body, it becomes trapped. When endometriosis involves the ovaries, cysts called endometriomas may form. Surrounding tissue can become irritated, eventually developing scar tissue and adhesions — abnormal tissue that binds organs together.
Endometriosis can cause pain — sometimes severe — especially during your period. Fertility problems also may develop.
Or as I casually define it: Hell hath no furry like the Uterine scorned!
Those who deal with endometirosis deal with it EVERY SECOND OF EVERY DAY! The Chronic pain is exhausting, and it can go from moderate pain to drop you to your knees cursing the next. It is an interesting way of life that hormonally imbalanced, knife jabbing, shooting needle pains down your legs and constant aching, but you look fine so get up and do something woman!
I was officially surgically diagnosed with endo when I was in high school, but that was a long time coming. I have had excruciatingly painful periods since the ripe old age of 9...yup, 9. After surgery I started on Lupron, or the crazy shots...6 months of a 17 year old in a drug induced menopause, that was fun for everyone. I remember that first shot sunk in like a knife in my heart. Although not sever with treatment, I knew endo had a possibility of preventing me from having children. I remember sitting quietly on the piano bench in our old house as tears streamed down my face...what if? What if I can't?
More shots, more pills, more surgery followed, I strive and suffer every day to prepare myself, hoping and praying that all this pain since the 4th grade will be worth it, that it will all have been for something. When I used to talk openly about my endo it was to almost justify that I may not wait a long time to have children after I got married. But why did I feel like I had to justify that decision when it wasn't anyone else's besides mine, my husband's, and God's? However, there is this defensive stance we take when we are questioned about things that we've fought for, things that people may not even know. I remember telling a friend that Phill and I probably would not be waiting long because of my endo, in which she replied, "That sucks, you won't really get to have a married life with just the two of you." I was upset by this, and I got this response a lot whenever asked about the topic, telling me to wait to have children, well guess what for some people that's not an option because it's kids now or possibly kids never.
To me, having a baby early on in a marriage has never been a bummer, I would have welcomed those two pink lines after our first week of marriage if it meant that all my sacrifice, all my pain had achieved that ultimate goal of motherhood. I have always wanted to be a mother, everything I have done since I was 15 years old, seeking treatment, has been to become a mother.
Endometriosis truly should not define a person, and I feel in moments of extreme pain and doubt I have let it control me. However, our struggles can indeed become our greatest strength and I plan on channeling all of my fight into being a blissfully happy and exhausted mother when the time comes.
Embrace your battles, and fight like a girl.
