Numbers

The same thought has been plaguing my mind all day, why do we let numbers rule how we perceive ourselves?  I got on the scale this morning and it was not pretty, but for a woman it NEVER is! We're never satisfied! After getting off I felt so worthless, so discouraged, and down right hideous.  But why? Why does a number control how we view ourselves or our worth?  Worth is not quantitative.

I walked to school still feeling self conscious and beaten down wondering why I felt like all my positive qualities melt away as the numbers on the scale go up or down or stay the same.  Is this a reflection of our society or personal insecurities?  Those who follow my blog know of my sob story past in which I was an overweight teenager in a petite loving society (if not you can read that post here).  And I've written posts similar to this before, but today the fact that a number on a scale could have me or ANYONE doubting their self worth is really eating at me.

Why do we look down on people because of their number?  Why do we judge our worth based on a number? Why do we focus on that number and not someone's gorgeous eyes, hair, face...? Even more importantly why do we disregard people because of their number? Is the number greater than a perfect personality, more than humor, wit, commitment, love, kindness? No.

So here it is.  The next time you think about your weight, negatively. Stop.  I'm going to too.  Which won't be easy, because if you are like me, you are worried about your weight 23 out of 24 hours a day.  But stop and look at your feet that you stand on. How well they support you, your legs get you where you want to go.  Don't think about size or shape, but function.  Look at your body it keeps you alive, it helps you live your amazing, beautiful (sometimes rocky) life.  Look at your face.  If you are like me there are many things about your face you want to change.  Stop. Look at your eyes admire the color, admire that they are allowing you to see this beautiful world.  Your smile and your face allows for expression of the joys and the sorrows.  With all of these things, all these beautifully positive things that our bodies do, that our bodies are, why do we focus on their number?

I am more than my number, YOU are more than your number.  Remember that!  This may seem a little flower child/inner goddess, but the truth is its hard to love your body in a society full of body obsession.  Is it important to be healthy? yes.  Is it vital to be that "magical perfect number"? NO, because it doesn't matter if you aren't kind, sweet, smart, loving, generous, courageous, or honest.  Next time you have a number that brings you down...think of the number of beautiful things that make you who you are, because its not your number.

One of my favorite authors, one of pretty much every one's favorite authors, J.K. Rowling said this:

"I’ve got two daughters who will have to make their way in this skinny-obsessed world, and it worries me, because I don’t want them to be empty-headed, self-obsessed, emaciated clones; I’d rather they were independent, interesting, idealistic, kind, opinionated, original, funny – a thousand things, before ‘thin’. And frankly, I’d rather they didn’t give a gust of stinking chihuahua flatulence whether the woman standing next to them has fleshier knees than they do. Let my girls be Hermiones, rather than Pansy Parkinsons.”

I have many motivational quotes on my bathroom mirror, but this one always sticks with me the longest.  Often I catch myself thinking, when I get skinny I will... or If I were skinny I would..., Why do I feel like I need to by skinny?  The truth is we need to love ourselves...for being  more than a number.  

I know it's hard to be anyone in this body obsessed world.  We all feel the pressures every day. But life is beautiful and the things that matter don't show up on your scale every morning.  So cut yourself some slack, like I am going to try to do for myself, and....

Be more than your number, be more than societies unattainable expectation of you, be a Hermione, be you.