11/3/14 ~ Today's the day I've always dreamed about. Peeing on that weird shaped stick, flipping it over and seeing a big old PREGNANT staring back at me. When I took the test I expected it to be negative. Everything I was feeling, all of my "symptoms", seemed very time of monthly. I couldn't resist checking though, it was about four days before my missed period, but I couldn't wait. I did as the magic pregnancy test box instructed...trying to do it very quietly with Phill in the next room. I paused, I waited, I prayed, I looked.....pregnant.
I've known how I wanted to tell Phill for a long time! I was so excited about the idea! I thought I would have so much time to prepare my epically adorable plan...not so much.
I came out of the bathroom shaking, I tried to act natural, the positive pregnancy test in my sweater pocket...I slyly took our Adventure Book that Phill had made me our first Christmas and hauled it up stairs. My game plan had always been that I would make a page in it announcing that we were pregnant, I thought that when I found out he wouldn't be home and I'd have plenty of time to get it together, but I couldn't wait. I hurried and took a picture of the test, printed it out and wrote shakily on the page.
He had come up the stairs, and I walked into our room holding the book, not having a good reason for having the book, I casually said we should look at it. We reminisced about all of our grand adventures, I was so nervous. Finally we turned to the page, he stared at it...
and he stammered, "you're pregnant?" his face was priceless, his eyes filled with tears, I couldn't believe it still so I just stared at the page as well and pulled out the test from my pocket. Positive. Pregnant. Parents.
I was certain that I had gotten a false positive. I was excited, but this couldn't be real? We ran to the store and bought two more tests...positive. I was so afraid it wasn't real that I had Phill give me a Priesthood blessing. In my blessing he mentioned how much Heavenly Father loved me, he said that he felt the presence of my Grandpa Charlie and Grandpa Low there with us as he told me through the spirit that I was pregnant.
This is real life.
The next morning I took one more just to be safe. I called the Doctor...I said it for the first time out loud, "I'm pregnant." Those words coming out of my mouth sounded so crazy that I forgot what I was supposed to ask the Doctor's office. I laughed with the secretary that I was so dumbfounded by the idea that I didn't know what to do. The next day I would go to the doctor and take another test.
I took Phill with me, despite the 5 positive tests sitting on our bathroom counter I felt it might still be negative. They called me back, I did what I've become very talented at doing, and waited...they called me back again, on the table was a kit to draw my blood, that meant pregnant. This is real life. My blood was drawn and my next two appointments made. We're having a baby.
11/4/14
Hi Baby,
It's your mommy! I can't believe you are real and that you are growing inside of me! Your daddy and I love you so much already! Stay strong in there love. We want to see your beautiful face and feel your amazing light in our lives. Stay with us baby, we love you.
-Mom
11/10/14
It had been a week and about 8 pregnancy tests, and I still couldn't put my mind at ease about our Baby B. I needed expert help...to the Grandparents!
It's early, I felt it was too early to tell anyone about our little poppy seed, but I needed the reassurance parents are so gifted at giving. Phill insightfully persuaded me to tell them. We put a plan together in the matter of minutes. We would write them a message from baby in the back of our favorite book, Mustache Baby!
The note said: "Hi Grandma and Grandpa, I can't wait for you to read to me July 2015! Love, Baby B"
My mom looked at us sitting on the couch every part of me shaking, "We're having a baby" we responded to her surprised face. She replied with a joy filled "you did it!"
The fears melted away for a brief moment, and then I told them about my fears and they told me about the joys. Baby B is blessed to have such amazingly wonderful grandparents.
They even gave us baby's first official gift, a book called Hello America! We read it together and laughed about all the times ahead. When we left mom held me tight, kissed her hand and patted my tummy...stay in there baby. Yes, please stay. You are so loved.
11/13/14
5 weeks along
10 days of knowing you
12 positive pregnancy tests
2 major cravings - Instant Potatoes & Ravioli
5 restless nights
10+ mood swings...daily
2 cases of pregnancy brain
1 apple seed sized babe
1 happy and nervous mom
11/22/14
Hi baby,
It's the week of Thanksgiving, and you are somewhere between a sweet pea and a blueberry. You've made it so far already and I love you more each day. I am thankful that you are a part of our family, and that you are here with me now. You truly are my favorite miracle. We love you.
12/4/14
There are days in your life that you may feel will never come. December 4, 2014 was that day for me. I had waited my whole life for this day, and in the month waiting for you to grow big enough to be seen I think I waited another lifetime. I was so in love with the idea of you that I was afraid you wouldn't be there when the time came!
Daddy and I got to the hospital 30 minutes early, we were so anxious to see you! We waited, and waited, we watched all the people who came after us get called in before us. One more lifetime of waiting and then it was finally our turn. We met your doctor, she is fun baby you'll like her.
Finally, I laid back on the table, put my feet in the gloriously comfortable stirrups and in less than 10 seconds there you were. My baby, our baby, on the screen. I could see your little heart moving in the center of your gummy bear shape. We were able to hear your heart it was beating so strong. Good job baby. Keep growing, we love you.
12/26/14
Guess what baby?! All of your Aunts, Uncles, and Grandparents know about you now, and they are so excited to meet you! You were the perfect Christmas present. Nana and Papa were so excited about you their eyes filled with tears of joy.
Tio Ben in Mexico was so surprised he beamed with excitement to hear about you! Uncle Rick called us as soon as we sent him your picture, he's so excited for you to arrive! You received Christmas presents from Aunt Kait who loves you so much already, and Grandma and Grandpa Westbroek bought you your first puppy dog. I can't wait for you to hold it and love it.
More than ever I can't wait to hold and love you. Stay with us baby. We love you.
2/3/15
17 weeks, we went to see you again, I was so nervous. Daddy was excited to see you and find out if you'd be a boy or a girl. We got to our appointment early, waited, and waited. A knock on the door...the nurse said we'd have to come back later, because the doctor was delivering a baby. I had a mild heart attack, but was determined to come back and see you!
A few hours later, there we were again, waiting...and waiting. Finally our turn to go into the ultrasound room again. Jelly on the belly, a few swipes of the magic ultrasound wand and there you were, kicking around, our little boy. wow.
You became so real to us in that moment. Parents of a baby boy. Love. fear. joy.
2/25/15
Baby Boy- confirmed!Starting to feel you move
141 heart beats per minute
9 inches long
2 strong legs
2 wiggling arms
10 amazing fingers and toes
12 ounces
1 noticeable bump
3rd Trimester Adventures:
Birthing Class - daddy wore a belly and felt you REALLY move for the first time!
Mover and a Shaker - You move almost all the time baby! You love to push against my right side and stretch...silly baby.
Mommy turned 24 & finished her first year of teaching.
Grandma drooled on Mom's tummy while talking to you!
Started getting our house ready for you to arrive!
Mom's belly grew to the size of a house!
T-minus 5 weeks until your due date! We love you!
