Love Thy Self.

I'm about to get personal here, but seeing how only two people ever read my blog it should be okay.  If someone were to ask me, what  my hardest obstacle to overcome is, it would have to be accepting myself.  I have always been self-conscious.  When I was in pre-school I was a foot taller than everyone else, and by 4th grade I was in denial that I weighed more than anyone else...that is until I started to get teased about my weight.  In 6th grade, I got a part in a play as one of the 3 little pigs... I cried and cried because I didn't want to be a fat pig in front of everyone (sob story I know). When it was time to get our costumes figured out the 3 little pigs were instructed to put pillows in our overalls to make us look bigger...a boy came up to me and said, "you won't have to put pillows in your overalls, you're already fat enough." no. joke.
This little walk down chubby memory lane was not to make anyone feel bad for me, or expose the scars of my past. I knew I was overweight.  Life went on, and I was always uncomfortable in my own body. Junior high led to a whole new slew of problems, (as it does for most awkward teenagers).  I never learned to love myself, but i always continued to BE myself.
In high school, my sophomore year, I joined the Lacrosse team.  By the end of the season I had lost about 20 pounds. Amazing what a little exercise can do! But, I still didn't love myself, I was constantly self-conscious and no matter how well I performed in the sport I still felt inferior to all those who were skinnier than myself. 
When I tell people that I suffer from self-esteem issues, they always seem surprised.  Since October I’ve lost about 12 pounds...and yet I am still self-conscious, I am still painfully aware that there are so many other women more beautiful than myself...But, why let simple facts rule your life?
Today I saw this saying,

Self-acceptance is key to happiness, if you don't have a habit of loving yourself for whoever you are, you'll never be truly satisfied no matter how much you change.   I strive every day to not let my insecurities get in my way, but everyone has downer days.  Beauty comes in so many forms, I love who I am on the inside, because of that part of me I have known pure and untainted joy in my life.  And in those moments, I let go of my insecurities and truly loved who I was in all my shapes and forms.  Happiness isn't your body size; it's what you do with your life! Another turning point today was seeing this commercial, which I have seen before and always love:

 

Acceptance of ourselves is a lifelong battle, and some days it feels like a battle against the whole world.  I don't plan on ever giving into how the world says I should be, I love who I am, I may not be comfortable in my own body 100% of the time. But I will always strive to be my best self. 

 Dear World,

It’s me, Megan, I’m writing to let you know that I love being me.  I love that I am a nerd, and get fanatic over silly things.  I am going to accept myself no matter how many images you throw at me telling me I need to be skinnier, prettier, or more self-serving. I will continue to exercise, and eat right for myself.  I am happy, I am loved, and I have plans for myself. And I won't let you or anyone stand in my way.  Dear world, people tell me that the things I am doing aren't right or aren't good enough. But that's not true. I am a girl of great passion, love, and happiness. This is what it feels like to be me.

Sincerely,

A girl