The Adventures of 2013

2013 was an amazing year full of change, struggle, joy, and awesomeness!  I married my best friend after 6 years of waiting for it to finally happen!  I took Phill to three places he had never gone before, Disneyland, Yellowstone, and San Francisco.  I wrote my thesis for my Bachelors, and began my last year of undergrad.  We had so many fun adventures this year! I know 2014 will hold newer and more exciting adventures...here we go!

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Happy New Year!!! 2014!!!!

And then there was Wren

Life has been so crazy with the end of the semester and Christmas, that I am realizing I never blogged about our niece Wren Elizabeth Westbroek officially joining the family!!! Wren Wren was born on October 26 in California.  We all got the picture of her around 8:30 on the 26th and instantly fell in love! Erick and Kira chose not to find out what they were having, so when we found out it was a girl Aunt Meg & Kait went shopping!  We bought her tons of cute little outfits and started counting the days for her to come to Utah!
They arrived in November and have been hanging out with us throughout the whole holiday season it has been amazing to have our WHOLE family together!
I love Wren so much, she is a bundle of heaven, she loves to be awake, swing, be walked around (she doesn't like it when you sit down. haha.), she LOVES her binky, her mommy & daddy, all her aunts and uncles, grandmas & grandpas, and her hands over her head.
I feel overwhelmingly blessed when I think about her being a part of our family for eternity!  I love our little song bird Wren!

Before Wren Was born we had everyone guess when the baby would be born, the gender, weight, time, and length.  Ben won the game and the bragging rights until the next baby comes along, then he will have to defend his title! The win comes with the bragging rights shirt that you get to sign and have your picture taken with the baby.  Not to mention you win bragging rights for the duration of your baby reign. I basically love this new tradition.  Ben loved that he won. haha. 

 Wren in her cute Christmas Dress!

Love you little girl! 

Benny Boy

This last Wednesday we sent my little brother to the MTC...it's bee a long time coming, but I didn't realize I was so unprepared for it.  I've sent an older brother, and a boyfriend on a mission, but there is something different about a little brother.  I think as an older sibling you feel you have some sort of protecting power over your younger siblings.  Ben is my only younger sibling and I've always felt very protective of him.   It's silly thinking about buff big Ben ever needing protection, but you know how older sisters are.  It's been a challenge dealing with him being away, it hasn't even been a week, but I miss his craziness.
Sometimes the Gospel requires more strength and sacrifice than I feel I can give.  However, we move forward in faith, trusting in God that He will carry us through.  That He will carry Benjamin through.
Ben will be an incredible missionary.  He has made the efforts to serve a mission completely on his own, he is the hardest working 19 year old  I know, he has a huge welcoming heart, and the strength and faith to change life.  He has changed mine.
The people of Tijuana better look out!  Elder Westbroek is on his way! Love you B-Train!

"May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind always be at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face, and rains fall soft upon your fields.

And until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hand." 

Strength in Trials.

Sometimes bad things happen to the best people.  I have observed this phenomenon all my life.  I have watched from the outside, from the inside, from above, from below and it is baffling to me how people survive the things they do.  

Ever since I can remember I have suffered with anxiety.  It is debilitating some days and tolerable others.  I don't usually talk about it with people, because they do not always understand what having an anxiety disorder means. I have always seen it as a weakness, that I have tried to bury deep inside of myself and keep private.  And when I break down or when I feel panicked I am alone.  There have been times when I have opened up to others about it, and it is brushed off as if it were something I brought upon myself.  Often I think, who would choose to feel this way? I have been debating about writing a post about it for months.  However, its an important issue that should be talked about.  

I have learned a lot about myself since I have been married, and it has been followed by a lot of anxiety and fear and despair when I should have been utterly and blissfully happy (which I have been with an extra side of terrified).  But this is the joy of emotional trials.  They bring you down in a way that no one can see and often you feel you are left to deal with it alone.  I have learned through amazing examples that you are never alone.  Phill has stood by me, cried by me, and held me up at my lowest and I would not be here writing this today if he didn't choose to look beyond my weakness and stay by my side.  

Another example of faith that has prompted me to write this is my friend Brittany King.  She and her husband are struggling to begin a family.  However, they push through the fear and the pain with faith.  Her perspective on the atonement has shaped my testimony since the first day I met her. She has given me the courage to write about my personal demons.  And to express the love and peace that can come out of struggle.  If you would like to read her incredible blog about their journey, joys, and sorrows click here. 

November starts a month of exceptional gratitude, it is one of my favorite months, because gratitude is one of my favorite emotions to express.  Life is so much more beautiful when you are grateful: Grateful for joy, sorrow, victory, and struggle. Today is November first and I am going to start off by being grateful for trials.  
In the October General Conference Elder Holland gave his talk on emotional illnesses.  I cried all the way through it. Click here to read it.  I have always felt broken, because I can't always control how I feel or behave and it affect other people in my life, mainly the people I love.  I feel embarrassed and ashamed that I am not always in control of my mind. In a lot of moments I have felt like I don't deserve the love of my Father in Heaven or anyone for that matter.  But Elder Holland gave me hope. He stated,"So how do you best respond when mental or emotional challenges confront you or those you love? Above all, never lose faith in your Father in Heaven, who loves you more than you can comprehend...Also let us remember that through any illness or difficult challenge, there is still much in life to be hopeful about and grateful for." 

My point of this post is not to gain pity.  I have no need for that.  But rather to express my joy.  The joy the gospel produces even in our darkest moments, our worst days, and our most anxious of nights. There is hope and there is light.  President Thomas S. Monson said, "Only the Master knows the depths of our trials.  He alone offers us eternal peace in that time of adversity.  He alone touches our tortured souls."

We may all feel tortured at times in our individual trials.  However, the light of Christ reaches through the thickest and most intoxicating darkness to offer aid.  There is joy in the lowest lows.  I am thankful for my trials.  I am thankful for the blessing of learning from them, growing from them, and being able to receive relief from tender mercies that have strengthened my faith.  Through individual trials, as well as others' trials, support and strength can be found. 

You're not alone.

Numbers

The same thought has been plaguing my mind all day, why do we let numbers rule how we perceive ourselves?  I got on the scale this morning and it was not pretty, but for a woman it NEVER is! We're never satisfied! After getting off I felt so worthless, so discouraged, and down right hideous.  But why? Why does a number control how we view ourselves or our worth?  Worth is not quantitative.

I walked to school still feeling self conscious and beaten down wondering why I felt like all my positive qualities melt away as the numbers on the scale go up or down or stay the same.  Is this a reflection of our society or personal insecurities?  Those who follow my blog know of my sob story past in which I was an overweight teenager in a petite loving society (if not you can read that post here).  And I've written posts similar to this before, but today the fact that a number on a scale could have me or ANYONE doubting their self worth is really eating at me.

Why do we look down on people because of their number?  Why do we judge our worth based on a number? Why do we focus on that number and not someone's gorgeous eyes, hair, face...? Even more importantly why do we disregard people because of their number? Is the number greater than a perfect personality, more than humor, wit, commitment, love, kindness? No.

So here it is.  The next time you think about your weight, negatively. Stop.  I'm going to too.  Which won't be easy, because if you are like me, you are worried about your weight 23 out of 24 hours a day.  But stop and look at your feet that you stand on. How well they support you, your legs get you where you want to go.  Don't think about size or shape, but function.  Look at your body it keeps you alive, it helps you live your amazing, beautiful (sometimes rocky) life.  Look at your face.  If you are like me there are many things about your face you want to change.  Stop. Look at your eyes admire the color, admire that they are allowing you to see this beautiful world.  Your smile and your face allows for expression of the joys and the sorrows.  With all of these things, all these beautifully positive things that our bodies do, that our bodies are, why do we focus on their number?

I am more than my number, YOU are more than your number.  Remember that!  This may seem a little flower child/inner goddess, but the truth is its hard to love your body in a society full of body obsession.  Is it important to be healthy? yes.  Is it vital to be that "magical perfect number"? NO, because it doesn't matter if you aren't kind, sweet, smart, loving, generous, courageous, or honest.  Next time you have a number that brings you down...think of the number of beautiful things that make you who you are, because its not your number.

One of my favorite authors, one of pretty much every one's favorite authors, J.K. Rowling said this:

"I’ve got two daughters who will have to make their way in this skinny-obsessed world, and it worries me, because I don’t want them to be empty-headed, self-obsessed, emaciated clones; I’d rather they were independent, interesting, idealistic, kind, opinionated, original, funny – a thousand things, before ‘thin’. And frankly, I’d rather they didn’t give a gust of stinking chihuahua flatulence whether the woman standing next to them has fleshier knees than they do. Let my girls be Hermiones, rather than Pansy Parkinsons.”

I have many motivational quotes on my bathroom mirror, but this one always sticks with me the longest.  Often I catch myself thinking, when I get skinny I will... or If I were skinny I would..., Why do I feel like I need to by skinny?  The truth is we need to love ourselves...for being  more than a number.  

I know it's hard to be anyone in this body obsessed world.  We all feel the pressures every day. But life is beautiful and the things that matter don't show up on your scale every morning.  So cut yourself some slack, like I am going to try to do for myself, and....

Be more than your number, be more than societies unattainable expectation of you, be a Hermione, be you. 
  

Catch Up: Adventures 1, 2, 3

Catch-up vs. Ketchup....? Which one is better? Catching up can be stressful, but it may mean you have had a really good time and are just getting back into the swing of things or you know there is that delightful red paste that cures cancer and the blues KETCHUP! (who named it that?) Okay so this is all really off topic, but when you blog hungry these things do happen! This could possibly be the last of my major "catch-up" blogs it will take us through the majesty that was our first married summer... 

This summer never actually started for us, I was in school and Phill worked all but maybe two weekends soo summer fun was few and far in between.  I was in three classes this summer: Foreign Policy, History of the 20th Century and Senior Seminar (snooze fest i know)  This summer my main focus and the force that pinned me to the couch and laptop for twelve hours a day was my Senior Thesis.  When I would tell people I was writing my thesis, they would ask, "how long does it have to be?" I would reply, "between 25-30 pages"  then immediately the response was almost ALWAYS, "oh, that's not bad." haha....ha...ha...ha? To me this seemed like a HUGE undertaking for my little undergraduate, dyslexic, ADHD self! I dedicated hours upon hours to research, I read about 1,000 pages a week and tried to sculpt an accurate picture of my topic which was the Modernization of the Medical Field During the American Civil War it was such a fascinating topic...I won't bore you with the details of my summer of knowledge and gangrene, but the moral of the story is with enough Mountain Dew and sleep deprivation you can accomplish just about anything! I did receive and A on my thesis and passed the other two classes (my adviser didn't think i would...in his face.) Yippie! 

So the main point of this post is to talk about the three main adventures Phill and I got to have during this summer! The first grand adventure took place on our 4 year anniversary...what? you goobs have only been married for 4 months...RIGHT! So Phill and I, while we were dating, always celebrated our yearly anniversary on June 15th because that's when we pretty much became "exclusive."  This year was the first year we had spent it together since 2009! Year 1 I was in Tonga, and Year 2&3 Phill was off on some religious adventure... (wink, wink)  Phill and I had originally thought before he left on his mission that we would get married on this day June 15, 2013...but later on in his mission and when he got home we felt it would be best to move up our wedding day and so April it was! We still celebrated our anniversary and almost wedding day by doing sealings in the Salt Lake Temple! It was so beautiful! We finished there and went to P.F. Changs for dinner! (delicious!) 

Adventure number 2 was really random.  Phill text me on Friday afternoon and suggested we take off to Bear Lake and camp for the night!  I was game, so we took off and got to Bear Lake at about eight thirty.  We ate at Cafe Sabor (mmmm) and then in the dark we tried to scope out a camp site.  That was kind of a joke, but we finally found one on the east side of the lake and by then it was pitch black! We set up our tent (for the first time)  by the light of my jeep's headlights! That was an adventure.  Then we stayed up watching the stars and talking.  It was so nice to get away from all the stress of school! The next day we went to the lake, but got rained out.  

Later that day we headed back down to Logan where we had planned to go to the demolition derby with Phill's siblings! We got rained out there too, but it was a blast as usual! Something about feeling like a true American and a Redneck at the same time does a body good. 

Our final adventure we have been waiting for since February! I gave Phil a trip to Yellowstone for Valentine's Day, and the weekend after finals finally arrived and we took off to the hills! It was a blast to show Phill one of my all time favorite places.  We drove all over the park and saw pretty much everything.  There a ton of forest fires going on in the park and around it so a lot of the animals were hiding...bummer.  We did take a few back roads I never had before, and we took a boat tour on Yellowstone Lake which was pretty awesome! 

Gibbon Falls 

Fishing Bridge 

Hayden Valley 

Yellowstone Grand Canyon 

I'm freaking out in this picture, because the only thing between us and a 1,000 plus feet drop is that boulder we are sitting on...shutter. 

hello buffalo! 

red sun from all the smoke! 

The Grand Tetons! 

And that amigos was our summer! I am back in school, 7 classes and in the education program! And Phill is working extra hard long hours like a boss.  It's gonna be a long one folks, but I am grateful for those two weeks of summer!

Catch Up: Playing House

 One of the things I have really loved about being out on our own in the scary grown up world is making our little apartment more homey.  The first time we walked in it was a HUGE step up from the apartments we had been looking at, but it was completely white and I felt like I had just checked into the psych ward. So I've tried to jazz it up with some color.

 We have really enjoyed living here though, we have a pool, but rarely have time to use it.  Phill's family probably uses it more than we do.

My favorite things about our apartment, (probably Phill's least favorite part) is we are only 30 seconds from Target.  Love me some target!

It's been fun to practice the art of cooking, I'm not horrible at it, but I didn't cook a ton when I was at home.  I have enjoyed trying new recipes.  A few of our favorites have been:

Stuffed Red Peppers recipe here

Crock Pot Chicken Terriyaki: 1lb chicken (sliced, cubed or however), 1c chicken broth, 1/2c terriyaki or soy sauce, 1/3c brown sugar, 3 minced garlic cloves cook in crock pot for a few hours.  Then I just sauteed the vegetables in some Mr. Yoshida's, and served it over brown rice. 

Cranberry Chicken:
One can of whole cranberry sauce, small bottle of french dressing, and onion soup mix stir together and pour over chicken breasts.
cook uncovered at 350 for an hour 
served over brown rice 

Cheese Fondue:
Sharp shredded cheddar, brie (rind removed), 1 1/2 c. milk, 2T flour
stir together on low until evenly melted

Catch Up: Aunt Meg & Uncle Phill

The day Phill and I got home from our honeymoon we headed up to Logan to meet our newest nephew Theodore Holland Brandley or as Phill and I have deemed him "Thor."  He suprised us all coming early (Celestial's babies always come late!) but we were so excited to meet the new addition to the Jakob Brandleys.

I am so lucky to have inherited six beautiful nieces and nephews when phill and i got married. (even though i acted like their aunt before we ever got married. ha) We love them all so much!

All of our favorite babies minus Thor who was born eight days later! 

Exciting News on the Westbroek front! When Phill and I were on the way home from our honeymoon we received a text from my brother Erick:

The fist grand baby in our family is on their way! Erick and Kira are waiting to find out what they are going to have so for now we just call the baby Kirick (Kira and Erick combined) We are all so excited to welcome the newest Westbroek to the world! And I am so exited to be an aunt. (again!)

This is the most recent ultrasound we have of our little Kirick! Look at that cute profile!
Baby is due on October 23rd! 

Catch Up: Honeymoon Edition

Honeymoon....who decided to call it that? I did some research, but none of the results seemed conclusive. My favorite answers were: 

1. According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary,  to the origin of the word honeymoon, 'the idea that the first month of marriage is the sweetest.' 
2. Or one found in the Oxford English Dictionary that the word originated to describe love that wanes as the phases of the moon (uh-oh)
3. The term honeymoon originates from the tradition that the in-laws of the couple were required to supply a month's worth of honey wine

So which one is it? Pretty sure it is NOT number three, because we've been married for almost three months and no large shipment of honey wine has been made to apartment A20... 

Anyways the Moon is made of honey so we celebrated that by going to sunny California! We drove there the day after our wedding, my parents were awesome enough to supply us with their car and all sorts of road trip goodies! We got to California late that night, we stayed at the Knott's Berry Farm Resort Hotel.  

The next day, was the day we had been waiting for, Phill's first trip to Disneyland! I have been saving my pennies (literally) for the whole two years Phill was gone to pay for our Disneyland tickets.  And yes I successfully saved up enough coinage to buy both of our tickets! 

Disneyland is such a fun place and it's even more enjoyable when you take someone who as never been, it's like experiencing it for the first time yourself. 

 The next day we went to California Adventures! We visited Cars Land, which looked exactly like Radiator Springs.  We rode Phill's new favorite ride: Toy Story a couple times, rode my favorite ride, The Tower of Terror (Phill was not a fan). And after all that fun we wandered back over to Disneyland, then to Downtown Disney for dinner at my favorite place The Rain Forest Cafe, and then BACK to California Adventures to finish off the night! (got to love hopper passes!) 

My eyes are closed...what can ya do 

getting cozy at the Cozy Cone 

Phill made me go on the Snow White ride...not cool man, not cool. 

At the Lego Store! Prince Phillip made out of legos in the background! 

Paradise Pier

The next day we bounced back and forth between the two parks again and got in most of our favorite rides one more time. We also got to ride the new Car Racer ride in Cars Land (epic) That was probably my favorite part of the day. 

No one knows what is going on with this Mickey/Goofy/Mater/Use up all the extra materials we have hat.

After our Disney Adventure was over we headed for the beach the next day, but didn't swim, because I had gotten sick and was not feeling it. So we walked along the pier and I starred anxiously out into the ocean looking for whales...as a I always do, but have yet to actually see one.  One Day! It was a nice relaxing day after our three days of none stop! 

On our last day we drove down to San Diego and did a session in the temple.  It was a really cool experience.  I was hoping to go to Sea World, but by the time we got out of the temple it was too late. Darn! So we walked around the city a little before making the trip back up to Anaheim. 

Our dive home consisted of a few detours through Phill's mission, I got to meet a few people he had told me about in his letters that was fun. Then came the long drive home, that is always a kicker! 
We had a good time and it was great to get away!